How can I stop thinking about my ex?
This is a question that many people ask themselves after a breakup. Any person who has been in a relationship and has broken up will ask themselves how to stop thinking about their ex. This is one of the most common things that comes in our mind post breakup.
When you are involved with a person romantically for a long time and suddenly get separated or precisely broken up, it takes a toll on you emotionally.
Every day you wake up and think about your ex. You are habituated staying or being with that person and now he/she is no longer with you, brings a vacuum in your life.
You can not stop thinking about their voices, their smell, what they used to do, and, most importantly, their presence.
It can be a very painful, particularly when you are continuously drifting back to your ex in your thoughts. These thoughts and feelings get extremely difficult to control, especially when you are just broken up. The pain and the separation feel fresh.
It can bring on a range of emotions from sadness to anger, and it can be hard to get your mind off the person you loved.
It feels like a repeated process, going over it for days and it drives you crazy. What would you do? How would you stop thinking about your ex?
Many suggest telling yourself to stop thinking about your ex, but that won’t make it happen. The memories of your past relationship with your ex plays like a broken record.
We can not deny the fact that it is difficult to move on, but with effective help and a few methods can help you get through a breakup.
Breakups are never easy, especially when you think about your ex all the time. But in this blog post, I’ll show you some of the best and most effective ways to stop thinking about one person who has left you.
17 Effective ways to stop thinking about your ex
Meditation can help you stop thinking about your ex. It helps you to focus on the present and allows you to feel better about yourself.
Many have agreed that meditation has helped them ease off their mind. It certainly can not make you forget your ex, but helps you find a balance in your life. It allows you to think more clearly and makes you focused on the present moment.
Post breakup, as you get emotionally drained, you don’t understand how to handle yourself. Start meditating every day at least for half an hour, it will help you greatly.
Keep No Contact
Keeping no contact with your ex is an effective way of preventing yourself from being reminded of them.
This is a technique I used when I had breakups during my college days. To stop thinking about your ex, you have to stop the point of contact or everything that reminds you of them.
The less you will talk or message, the better and quicker for you to deal with the issue. Every time you have contact with your ex, it will be easier for them to infiltrate your thoughts. Eventually, you will have a hard time forgetting your ex.
Look, I know I am sounding heartless. Some deeper relationships are hard to let go and harder to stop thinking about them. We always want what we can’t have, and your ex is no exception. Even after you have been hurt, your heart desire to have your ex back to you.
Once you accept the fact that you can not have your ex or you can not revive your relationship, it’s time to say goodbye.
Delete your ex’s contact with your phone, WhatsApp, and from all other social media platforms.
When you feel the need to contact your ex to listen to his/her voice, you won’t have that option. Slowly, you will learn to live without them and stop thinking about them.
If you want to stop thinking about your ex, you need to avoid checking on them. Stop checking their status updates on social media platform like Facebook and Instagram. It creates more chaos and disturbances in your mind.
It’s hard to forget, but the simplest thing to do is to delete their social media profiles. When you don’t have access to their pictures, you start living your own world again.
For example, if you see a photo of your ex, it will make you emotionally vulnerable and make you want to contact.
Thus, it is a good idea to unfriend your ex and block them, perhaps to make no further contact.
Remind Yourself Why You Broke Up
If you want to get past your last relationship and want to stop thinking about your ex for good, remind yourself why you broke up. Remind yourself what and how you felt at that time. What all reasons you had for the breakup.
Sometimes when you feel lonely, it is then memories of your ex makes you weak and want you to contact him/her. But you have to resist your urge and control your feelings.
Think about all the times they have been mean or rude or how they didn’t put in any effort to make the relationship work.
This will help you to shut down the memories of your ex and help you to move on.
Talk to someone you trust
When we are emotionally fragile, we need someone trustworthy and caring to put our head onto their shoulder.
Similarly, you would need someone to talk to and share your feelings. Talking relieves stress and lets you burst out of your emotions. It is an effective way to feel better and deal with emotional pain.
Find someone who listens to you, loves you and cares for you, your best friend or brother or sister. They will listen to your feelings without judgement and help you to stop thinking about your ex.
You don’t have to go through it alone. Avoid going to places and do activities that remind you of them. It’s not easy going through a breakup, a good friend or a therapist can help make it feel less lonely.
Focus on Yourself
Nothing can make you stop thinking about your ex unless you help yourself. Enough of shedding tears and living in a constant heartache. It’s time you focus on yourself.
You have a life ahead; you have people around who love you; you have a career to grow, you can not stop living your life because of your ex.
Thoughts about your ex-partner will always pop up from time to time, and that’s fine. You were in love, you can not simply wipe out the sweet memories of being in a relationship with your ex.
But, you have to take good care of yourself. This is the time when you can grow into the person you want to be.
Find new people to meet, join a club, share your wisdom with like-minded people, enhance your professional skill. There are a lot of things to try and explore that can add value to your life.
Not only this, you can do things that make you happy. You can start exercising, eating healthy food, spend quality time with your family and friends.
Your ex will always be a part of your life. Even if you move on, he/she will be there in a corner of your mind.
If you find your thoughts are drifting back to the person who broke your heart and find it difficult to deal with it. Practice focusing on the present. Think about what you want and what you deserve. Do not dwell in any negative feelings about what happened in the past.
Slowly, this will help you to move on from the pain of being alone and being dumped.
Get rid of your ex’s belongings
The quickest way to let go of your ex is by getting rid of their belongings immediately. Objects or belongings often hold memories of that person in particular.
For example, everything that my husband has given me or gifted me or things that we have bought together are attached to certain memories.
The smiley magnet in my refrigerator reminds me of the day when we had a fight over a stupid thing and to make me smile again, my husband bought it and gifted me.
When in a relationship, you love to share each other’s belongings.
I love wearing t-shirts of my husband; it makes me feel closer to him. Weird, but it is the reason.
Likewise, every couple share something weird and sweet.
Sometimes, even if you had a breakup, you keep certain possessions of that person that is close to your heart. This behaviour is a big no if you want to stop thinking about your ex.
If you lived together, you certainly can not get rid of every shared belongings, but things that are close to your heart remove them.
Make your own space, reorganize and rearrange your home to feel new.
Return all the gifts given to you by your ex. If they don’t accept those items, better to donate them in a Ngo or to any needy person.
Hit the Gym
Usually after ending of a relationship, people want to change for the better. They want to make some significant changes in their life and hitting the gym is one way to do that.
Exercise boosts endorphins, which can make you feel better physically and emotionally. It helps to reduce pain, elevate your mood and improve sleep quality.
When you are feeling down and do not want to feel the pain by remembering your ex, channelize the pain into exercising. Vent all your anger, sadness, and frustration in the gym.
If you want to go cheap, skip the gym, save your money from gym membership and go for a run instead.
Find a purpose in your life
You obviously want your ex back into your life. We often think about how we can get back together with our ex and what we did wrong in the relationship. A blend of several thoughts confuses our mind.
That’s when a purpose in life helps us with moving on from our ex.
When you are not happy with your life, it is easy to blame your current status on your ex. You may think that if you had more time to focus on yourself, things would be better.
You keep on thinking about this and that.
Thus, it is important that you find something meaningful and fulfilling for yourself outside of the relationship. You need something that will make you feel confident about yourself.
You will find things to think about apart from your ex. A new hobby or activity may be that can help fill up some time and give you a sense of accomplishment.
Do things you are good at. Try to find interesting activities that can keep you occupied.
Traveling is a great way to deal with breakups and any kind of mental anxiety.
Traveling breaks the monotony of life. Particularly, after a breakup, people usually feel lonely even after they are surrounded by friends and family members.
Traveling brings a change. The idea of traveling is to explore and find yourself on the journey. If you do not want anyone’s company, you can travel solo.
The change in landscape, the nature and the surroundings will help you become more optimistic towards your life.
Pen Down Your Emotions
You may feel down buried in the dumps after the breakup and lost in the thoughts of your ex. But you don’t want to think about your ex still, they keep popping up in your mind.
I have a great solution for this that always helps me whenever I feel emotionally vulnerable – Pen down your emotions in a journal.
Writing helps you release your deeper thoughts that are bothering you. Penning down emotions is a great way to deal with breakups, loss and can even help you stop thinking about your ex immediately.
You can write down good and bad memories, how you are feeling currently, your emotional turmoil, and so on.
As you vent out your emotions on a piece of paper, it will relax you and make you feel light. Thus, help you becoming more productive in your daily life.
Avoid Talking about your ex
Often, people avoid talking about their ex to stop thinking about them. Does it help?
Our brain is rigged to think about people we have been with before. The more you talk about your ex, the more you will think, and the stronger your memories will become.
After a few months or years, it doesn’t matter who talks what about your ex because you won’t have any effect.
But as long as the breakup is fresh, ignoring talking about your ex will help you stop thinking about them.
Give your past relationship a closure
It’s never easy to get over someone you love fast. But if your relationship ends and there is no way both are getting back together, giving a closure to your relationship is crucial.
It gets tough when you are in a new relationship, but you still can’t forget your ex. The ‘ex’ issue sometimes becomes the main issue for a breakup.
Hence, a proper closure is important in your past relationship before you start a new.
How to give your past relationship a closure?
A few basic tips may help you with this: –
-You can write a letter to him/her
-Stop calling and messaging
-Delete all the photos and other things if you share
Forgive & Forget
Breakups in relationship is a part and parcel of life. You will have heartbreaks in one relationship and in the next, you will be the happiest one.
It’s hard to forget the person you have ever loved. If you have been cheated in your past relationship and have experience heartache, consider it a lesson for you.
Try to forget the issues and forgive, it will help you to move on quickly.
Enjoy your own company
It is important that you find ways to enjoy your own company. Your life doesn’t end with your ex, keep your sadness aside and relive your life.
Spend time with yourself, try things that interest you and make you happy. This effort of yours will make you forget your past relationship and motivate you to do better things in life.
You don’t have to look for a new relationship, learn how to enjoy being alone and taking time out of your day for yourself will make you feel better and eventually help you to move on from the thoughts of your ex.
Consider dating again
Dating again to avoid thinking about your ex is a good idea, actually.
You may have seen people often start dating immediately after their breakup. Though others pass lame comments but no judgement, this indeed helps overcome your ex.
New dating will bring fresh memories and ignite new feelings, hence help you remove old painful memories of your ex.
Though some afraid to get associated with anyone after their breakup as they don’t want to be hurt again.
But, here is the thing, you date and spend time with the person you like. You do not have to rush to start a new relationship.
You can date, enjoy an evening meal, share random things. You never know, you may find a soul mate in the significant other and fall in love over again.
I have several articles on dating ideas, you can get ample of ideas enlisted here.
Find a new love
Some people think it is impossible to forget about their ex and move on. There are several ways to stop thinking about your ex and one way is to fall in love again.
It’s certainly difficult to fall in love suddenly. It needs the right amount of time and the right person to fall in love.
You should not hurry in finding new love. Think about yourself first, take your time, understand your need, date frequently and only if you are ready, fall in love and bid goodbye to your ex.
How long does it take to stop thinking about an ex after a breakup?
Breaking up with someone you once loved can be one of the most difficult experiences you go through in life. Even after the relationship has ended, it’s not uncommon to find yourself thinking about your ex and wondering what could have been. But how long does it take to stop thinking about an ex after a breakup?
The answer to this question is not a simple one, as it depends on a variety of factors such as the length of the relationship, the nature of the breakup, and your individual coping mechanisms.
There is no set time period for how long it takes to stop thinking about an ex after a breakup. Some people may never completely forget about their past relationship, while others may be able to move on relatively quickly.
However, research has shown that it typically takes about 11 weeks to start feeling better after a breakup, and about 18 months to fully get over your ex.
If the breakup was mutual and amicable, it may be easier to let go. However, if there was betrayal or heartbreak involved, it can take much longer to heal those wounds. The process of moving on is not always linear – you may have good days and bad days, and may find yourself thinking about your ex again even after you thought you had moved on.
Stay busy and keep your mind occupied so you don’t dwell on your past relationship. Over time, the pain will lessen and you will be able to think about your ex without feeling as much hurt.
How can you deal with triggers that remind you of ex and the relationship you had?
It can be difficult to deal with triggers that remind you of your ex, especially if the relationship was a significant part of your life. This could be a particular song, a restaurant you used to go to together, or even just a smell. These triggers can be painful and make it difficult to move on, but there are ways to deal with them and take control of your emotions.
The first step in dealing with triggers is to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you’re reminded of your ex. Don’t try to suppress or ignore your emotions, as this will only make things worse. Instead, give yourself permission to feel your emotions and let them pass.
When you’re feeling triggered, talk to someone about it. This can help you process your emotions and give you some perspective.
There are a few things you can do to help yourself calm down and feel better. One technique is called “grounding,” which involves focusing on your senses and bringing yourself back to the present moment. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths, focusing on the sounds around you.
Another helpful technique is cognitive restructuring, which involves reframing your thoughts and beliefs about the trigger. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings, try to focus on more positive and realistic thoughts. For example, if you’re triggered by a song that reminds you of your ex, you might tell yourself “This song reminds me of a happy time in my life, but it’s okay to feel sad that it’s over.”
Finally, it’s important to practice self-care and self-compassion in the post-breakup period. This means taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, and being kind and patient with yourself as you work through your emotions.
Is it normal to still think about your ex even after you have moved on to a new relationship?
Breaking up with someone can be an emotionally turbulent experience. It’s important to understand that this is perfectly normal. After all, you shared a part of your life with your ex, and they likely played a significant role in your life for a period of time. It’s natural to reflect on those memories and experiences, especially if they were positive.
But there’s a difference between reminiscing on the past and obsessing over it. If you find that thoughts of your ex are consuming your mind and affecting your new relationship, it may be time to take a closer look at why you’re still holding onto those feelings.
Perhaps you’re still grieving the loss of that relationship, or maybe you’re comparing your new partner to your ex and finding them lacking. Or, it could be that there are unresolved feelings that need to be addressed.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to be honest with yourself about what’s driving those thoughts and feelings. Ignoring them won’t make them go away, and they could end up causing more harm than good in the long run.
Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Don’t rush the process or try to force yourself to move on before you’re ready.
These are some of the best ways that one can consider doing and get past of their ex’s memories.