Let’s talk about the toxic relationship habits people usually think are perfectly normal.
Are you in a toxic relationship? How will you figure it out?
Not all relationships are healthy relationships. Some relationships turned out to be problematic where partners stay in a toxic environment.
It feels heavenly when you start a relationship, and there is so much love in the air. But sometimes, over time, this changes, and the relationship evolves.
It is sometimes hard to differentiate in a relationship if you are in a toxic relationship.
What is a Toxic Relationship?
I am not going by the definition, but in a layman’s language, ‘toxic relationships are the ones where both the partners are unhappy due to irrational behavior, constant conflict, and no peace.
When you are in love, you may not feel that your relationship is practicing toxic habits.
You may feel happy initially, but over time when you understand at what cost you have been accepting the practices, it’s already late.
This blog post will share 8 such toxic relationship habits people think are perfectly normal and fine.
These are the practices that every couple has faced at some point in their relationship. Usually, people don’t get bothered about these toxic relationship habits.
But these practices do make a negative impact on a relationship over time. If you want to stop them and make your relationship last longer, you should consider them.
Let’s discuss what these practices are and why they are toxic for a relationship.
Toxic Relationship Habits Most Thinks are Perfectly Normal –
Keeping a Tab on Every Activity
If you start keeping a tab on every activity on your partner or your partner does the same with you, it isn’t a healthy habit. This activity shows you or your partner don’t have the trust.
You don’t even bother to accept that your partner may also need some privacy.
You may think this is not at all a toxic habit; instead, when in love, you have the authority to do that.
Indeed, you have all the right over your spouse to check on his/her phone, checking out where he/she is going, asking questions about the things that you have no knowledge of.
But that should come out of love, and keeping a tab should be occasional and not on every particular activity.
Even if your partner doesn’t mind you doing this, he will soon get irritated and feel you aren’t trusting him/her with anything. Thus, erupted relationship problems.
I have heard from many of my friends that their partners always keep a tab on every household and financial things strictly.
Though theoretically, this is a toxic habit that may disturb your relationship shortly if not controlled.
How often do you blame your partner?
In a relationship, couples consider blaming as a perfectly normal relationship trait. But do you think it doesn’t impact a relationship?
I think it does.
We often blame each other for the things we have done wrong in our relationship. It is a normal human tendency.
For Example, if your partner has once forgotten to wish you on your birthday, you will forever make him/her remind of that.
Or, say, you had cheated on your girlfriend, but she is keen to reconcile the relationship, which is very kind of her.
But deep down in her heart, she will always blame you for destroying the relationship as she can’t deal with the thought of being cheated.
So, you can’t avoid this habit of blaming when you are in a long relationship or marriage. Even if you are super cautious that you will keep your relationship healthy and won’t practice the habit of blaming.
Still, you will do that, and people find it perfectly normal.
But having said that, if you keep on blaming each other for everything, it will have a negative impact on your relationship over time.
Do you feel jealous when your partner talks a little bit much to someone else? Or, appreciate about their good looks frequently?
Getting jealous is a casual thing in a relationship.
The majority of couples think if there is no jealousy in a relationship, that means there is less love, and either of the partners isn’t passionate for each other in terms of ‘love.’
But if you see from the practical perspective, having too much jealousy is never good. It won’t help you grow neither help your relationship to grow.
For Example, How will you feel if your partner gets jealous even when you talk to your friends. Over time, his jealousy gets out of control, and he starts putting restrictions on you.
So, if jealously isn’t controlled on time, it becomes toxic, and more than toxic, it can become dangerous for you.
One of the most common toxic relationship habits people think are perfectly normal is ‘emotional blackmail.’
People often blackmail emotionally when they desire something and want to get it by using emotions as a weapon.
For example, you aren’t happy in your relationship, and you want to break up. When you communicate the same to your partner, she didn’t take it well emotionally.
She broke up so badly emotionally that you started feeling guilty and thought of reconciling.
Usually, we all use emotional blackmail at least once in our relationship, which is not toxic.
But if you started blackmailing your partner emotionally every time, it will prove that you are using it as a weapon to hold your partner under your whim.
Comparing with Others
How often do you compare your partner with other people?
In my marital relationship, one thing we never do, and that’s ‘comparing with others.’
It is so toxic that whenever you start comparing either yourself or your partner with another person, it will ruin the moment.
You will agree with me if I say you also compare your partner with other people.
If the comparison brings out something good in your partner, it’s good for your relationship. But if it’s mean to demean your partner, that comparison proves to be toxic for your relationship.
For example, if you compare your partner with an XYZ person, say that person is your friend, and to motivate your partner to exercise you are comparing, then there is no harm.
But, if you are pinpointing and comparing your partner every time with your XYZ friend about salary, then it would be disrespecting your partner, and this you shouldn’t allow in your relationship to happen.
People who know the difference and can control their tongue would not dare to hamper their relationship by degrading their partner. So, for the majority, it is a perfectly normal relationship habit.
We all know how lying is wrong. We teach our kids never to lie. But when it comes to relationships, sometimes couples lie to each other. Or, in other words, hide things from each other.
Some people think occasional lying is a normal thing in a relationship. As to save chaos in a relationship, couples prefer to lie sometimes.
For example, If you tell your partner to call someone and if he doesn’t wish to call, he might lie, saying he didn’t have the number.
These types of lies are casual; that’s why people consider them as ‘perfectly normal.’
Recounting Everything You Have Done for Your Partner
“I have done so much for you.. I have helped you so much in the past.. You are nothing without me.
I guess you know what I am indicating, when you have done something good for your partner in the past, you might have made your partner feel indebted towards you.
This shouldn’t have been the case as in a relationship with love; partners shouldn’t make each other feel like this.
Keeping a note of everything makes it obvious how much you care about what you have done for that person than how much you love that person.
Not Giving Your Partner Financial Freedom
In a relationship, it is important to have financial freedom. No one should be financially dependent on each other.
Often couples face financial issues that affect the relationship; not every couple feels confident about sharing their wealth.
If you and your partner don’t practice long-term financial planning, your money issues can soon get turned into a toxic relationship.
But, once again, in countries like India, people talk less about financial stress in a relationship.
The patriarch society is okay with the women not earning a penny instead running the household with their husband’s money.
So, this is a very typical scenario, though times are changing and women like to be employed and enjoy their financial independence.
Still, the majority don’t see it as an issue that can affect a relationship or marriage.
These are some of the toxic relationship habits people think are perfectly normal, and they don’t even care to consider them.
Still, I would say, if possible, you can make your relationship better if you keep these relationship habits in control.