How to know if you are in a one-sided relationship?
One-sided relationships can be defined as a relationship where one partner is more giving and putting more effort into making the relationship work.
It is the relationship where the significant other partner involves less.
It’s perfectly natural for a relationship to experience ups and down. Often when there is an ongoing conflict, couples get distant, but again, they work and get back together by mutual understanding.
A one-sided relationship is hard to maintain, and it is emotionally draining for the partner who is facing.
It lacks the healthy balance required for a stable relationship. In this type of relationship, one partner is working harder to keep the relationship alive, but the connection seems to get lost as there is a zero effort from the other partner.
Relationships are workable when both the partners want to keep it afloat.
It won’t survive if one completely stops co-operating while the other keeps on doing everything possible to keep the relationship last longer.
It creates an unhealthy environment, brings mental and emotional disturbances to the person who suffers one-sided love.
Thus, it is not healthy and often it’s hard to know when you are the one.
One-side relationships can get to you both physically and emotionally. You will feel down, depressed and confuses with the emotion of being pushed away.
Many don’t even understand that they are in a one-sided relationship. Thus, it is important to be aware of the signs that can help show the way and make things easier for you to decide whether to stay or move out of the relationship.
Let’s dig in to further details on what are those warning signs that indicate your relationship status.
17 Warning Signs of One-Sided Relationships —
Your Partner doesn’t Listen to you
Listening is so important when you have a partner who wants to share or tell you something. I get so many questions on why their partner don’t have the patience to listen to them?
If you are stuck in a one-sided love, your partner won’t show interest in what you have to say. Listening to your partner can tell many things.
If you see your partner never bother to listen to you and don’t have the patience to listen to your opinions, it indicates clearly that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
A successful relationship is not just about being in love, but also about being able to listen to each other.
There are many couples who are married or in a relationship for years, but they have a common complaint that their partners don’t care to listen to their feelings.
(Check out these helpful tips on how to be a better listener)
Your Partner doesn’t Care about your Feelings/ You are his Second Choice
It’s hard to digest when you are spending the rest of your life with the person who doesn’t care about your feelings.
You are trying to make them happy. You are taking care of their wants and wishes.
Yet, they care less about you. It’s clearly not the type of relationship you want to be in. Your love is one-sided, and so does your relationship.
Your Partner Never Stands Beside you When you Need
Do you feel your partner never stands beside you when you need them?
If yes, then it may be the signal that your relationship isn’t working.
It can be hard for you to endure the feeling of abandonment while being in a relationship. You start feeling unimportant and unwanted.
You are broken and devastated, desperately want your partner to be your side but what you find instead is they ignore you. It’s a red flag sign of a one-sided relationship.
It’s time to bid adieu to your relationship.
It’s Only your Effort in the Relationship
It’s easy to get into a relationship, but the hardest part comes when you are the only one who becomes more invested in the relationship.
When you are in a committed relationship, the effort of both is counted.
You are giving 100% and your significant other is only present in the relationship. Will the relationship work? I highly doubt it.
Well, experts say, you should not expect from your partner, but expectations comes naturally when you are invested emotionally in a relationship.
There is no ‘I’ or “You’ in a relationship. It is always ‘us.’
Thus, if you realize your partner isn’t with you in anything and you are the only one doing all the heavy lifting of being in a relationship.
It’s time you establish a communication with your partner, keeping all the important aspects of being a couple on the table.
Tell them directly about what you feel being hung up in a one-sided relationship.
You are the One Always to Apologize
There may be times when you are at fault, and you apologize. But there are times when you are bound to apologize for the fault of your partner to reduce the stress in the relationship.
For example, if you are in a one-sided relationship, you will always have the tendency to please your partner.
A recent research by Dr. John Gottman found that couples who apologize for their mistakes and forgive each other after a fight have happier relationships.
Certainly, this isn’t the case with one-sided love where the significant partner has a less interest in their relationship.
Over the time, you will realize that there is a power inequality between two genders and a lack of empathy.
Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries
Boundaries are an essential aspect of any healthy relationship, and they can refer to anything from personal space and alone time to emotional boundaries and limits on certain behaviors or actions.
When your partner does not respect your boundaries, it can create a feeling of discomfort and unease in the relationship. This can include things like:
Ignoring your requests for alone time or personal space
Constantly checking in on you or monitoring your actions
Dismissing your feelings or opinions
Crossing physical or emotional boundaries that you’ve set
Engaging in behavior that you’ve specifically asked them not to do
When your partner consistently disrespects your boundaries, it can erode your sense of self-worth and create feelings of frustration, anger, or resentment towards your partner. It can also create a power imbalance in the relationship, where your partner is calling all the shots and disregarding your needs and wants.
You deserve to be in a healthy and supportive relationship where your boundaries are respected. If your partner can’t give you that, clearly it’s a signs of one-sided relationship.
Lack of Communication
I have always said in my previous articles that an effective communication is a powerful tool in maintaining a balance in a relationship.
If you are experiencing relationship conflict, it can be solved only through a healthy communication.
As communication is an essential part of any relationship. When one or both are not communicating properly, there is a good chance the relationship will fall apart.
How will you understand if you are stuck in a one-sided relationship or not?
You love your partner dearly and always eagerly want to talk about things that matter to you. You wait for the right time when your partner will listen to you. But, it is so unfortunate that the right time never knocks on your door.
Your partner is just not either ready to talk or never shows interest in talking about anything with you.
Eventually, due to lack of communication, problems keep pop out now and then. You will start feeling living in a loveless and one-sided relationship.
No Positive Initiation from your Partner
For a relationship to work, both the partners need to maintain a sense of equality.
Both the partners should take initiative towards the betterment of their relationship. Both must divide their responsibilities and let each other grow.
If you feel your partner never shows up to you and takes no initiative in the relationship, you should take a step back and evaluate the situation immediately.
You shouldn’t have to beg for attention and affection from your partner.
You are not on the Same Page any Longer
Challenges in a relationship are common. Together, you can beat any level of complexity in a relationship. You have to find ‘us’ instead of ‘I’ in your relationship.
Both the partner has to be on the same page in terms of understanding and expectations.
It’s difficult to set boundaries when both have different expectations. Agreeably, it is commonly seen in a one-sided relationship.
You can only be on the same page in your relationship when both communicate their expectations, wishes and needs clearly to each other.
It is important to establish trust and ensure both sides are satisfied. So that even if you disagree with each other, you can find a mutual agreement that pleases both.
Never Do Things Together
If your partner and you do nothing together, it is clearly evident that your relationship is one-sided.
Relationship experts believe that if couples involve themselves in doing things together, it brings them closer and increases intimacy.
Things like planning a trip together, cooking a meal together, playing with your toddler together, be a part in all the important discussions, doing grocery shopping together and so on.
When it is a one-sided love relationship, however, you are a couple, but the ‘togetherness’ is missing.
Both living their respective life and blame the lack of time for not doing things together.
You are not the Priority
Your partner will choose his/her family and friends over you.
It is often seen couples drifted apart because their partner chooses their family and friends over their partner.
It shouldn’t be like that if both loved each other and care for their relationship.
You are standing at one side of the river bank all alone whereas your partner prefers to be with his family and friends when he has time.
It is okay not to do things together always and wanting some independent time to be spent with friends and family. We all need to recharge ourselves.
However, if your partner makes you feel that he enjoys other’s company over you and willingly never spends time with you, you must rethink where you stand in your relationship.
Where you are clearly not the priority, there is no way you should stay.
Do you and your partner share any common goals for future or for your life?
For example, my husband and I work in different industries. I am an independent business owner, whereas my husband works in the IT industry.
We have a 7 months old baby boy. We talk about things that we both want to achieve and do for our family together. We talk about our financial goals, our boy’s future, our house and so on.
Do you and your partner talk similarly?
Everyone’s dreams and wishes could be different, but when you are a couple and are in a committed relationship, sharing common goals is important.
If both have different takes on their life and do see together sharing any future goals, it could be a warning signs of a one-sided relationship.
Always begging for your partner’s attention
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel valued and appreciated, and they should make an effort to spend time together and show interest in each other’s lives.
However, if you’re constantly the one initiating communication, planning dates, or trying to spend time together, it can create a feeling of frustration and hurt. It can also be a sign that your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you are.
Feeling neglected or ignored by your partner can be incredibly hurtful, and it can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner if you’re feeling like you’re not getting enough attention in the relationship. Let them know how their behavior is impacting you, and be willing to listen to their perspective as well.
But if this is going on consistently, surely it indicates you are the least priority in your partner’s life.
There is no Physical or Emotional Intimacy
The need for physical and emotional intimacy is common in a relationship. When you have a long relationship, intimacy gets a two-way street, but in a one-sided relationship, the intimacy gets lost.
Your partner hardly pays attention to you and that’s something bothering you which you should address immediately.
Even after letting them know what’s lacking in the relationship, they might not consider taking up your concern.
You aren’t Happy
Certainly, when things go wrong in the relationship, it will make you unhappy.
It can be frustrating to feel like an idiot stuck in a one-sided relationship where you are doing everything by the book with the least expectation of loving back from your significant other.
When you don’t get that, you are unhappy in your relationship and when you are unhappy, it’s always better to move out of the relationship.
The Relationship is not Growing
Relationship don’t grow because of several reasons. A healthy and a successful relationship is only when both the partners communicate, build trust and understand each other well enough.
Relationship is a two-way street. Both the partners are responsible for making it successful. Thus, there is no way one-sided relationship can grow and hold a relationship forever.
It is certainly a warning sign of a one-sided relationship, and if you have recognized your situation, you better communicate with your partner before it gets too late.
You are Constantly Freaking Out in Insecurity
When you realize that your relationship is not working and your partner doesn’t bother about you anymore. Tensions and despair started to creep inside your mind.
You are desperately wanting the attention of your partner, but it seems he is not answering to you anymore.
The constant ignorance from your partner makes you feel anxious and emotionally exhausted. Your imbalance relationship makes you insecure about your future and well-being.
The above are the points that define a one-sided relationship. Are you the one? If yes, how will you deal with it?
I have already written a detail article, please read for more ‘How to Deal with One-side Love.’