Relationships

How to Talk About Money with your Spouse in a New Relationship

Today we will discuss how to talk about money with your spouse in a new relationship. First of all, when you are committed to a new relationship, there are things that we aren’t comfortable enough to discuss.

Money is one such sensitive thing that you would love to skip every time to discuss. But it is crucial to talk about money with your spouse.

According to several surveys, money is one of the main issues that generate stress in a relationship. Often it has been found that couples don’t feel comfortable discussing about their finances.

They don’t want to discuss their income or savings or anything. Especially, if both are earning then they decide to keep their money separate.

Still, the money issue remains prevalent.

With time, not only couples who are in a new relationship but also couples who are married for years must communicate openly with their spouses and partners about their financial history, issues, debts, and goals.

Lets, find out how conveniently you can talk about money in a new relationship.

Start communicating early

It is always wise to start communicating about money at the early stage of your serious relationship. If you are certain about commitment in your relationship, then you should start taking baby steps regarding ‘finances.’

Why baby steps?

Most of the people find it very difficult to talk about money to their spouse or partner. If you take baby steps, by which I mean, start your conversation about money a little in every meeting, it will make you feel comfortable with the person to talk about money.

Let me give you an example while dating you can bring up the ‘money talk’ in the middle of a conversation at the right time and place. You can ask your partner about her/him credit score or what are their future financial goals.

Once you both are comfortable discussing about each other’s money aspirations and goals, you will see it will be a lot easier to talk about the ‘money issues.’

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Share about your financial history

So, my next suggestion would be to share each other’s financial history when both get comfortable in sharing their personal life details.

Like I was saying previously, sharing financial openness is one of the key elements to a happy relationship. When you both know each other’s position in your relationship and there is an abundance of ‘trust’ for each other.

Then, there is no harm in disclosing each other’s income, credit score or savings. Because both deserve to know about each other’s financial history.

By disclosing the details, it doesn’t have to come to any conclusion. It is just a crucial step ahead in your relationship journey.

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Be honest about your financial expectations

Well, this is something that both the partner should clearly tell each other about their financial expectations. By financial expectations, I mean, both should express what they are intended to do with their money.

When you are in a committed relationship, often both tend to share each other’s money, they have a joint bank account. In this case, suppose either of the one is a little bit spendthrift and the other is economic.

Here, both should sit and have a calm conversation about their expectations of spending money without being judgmental.

Don’t ever say that this is my money that you are spending or you are wasting my money. A statement like this would end up in ego clash, hence an ugly fight over money.

So, if you don’t like your spouse being spending money unnecessarily, instead of mocking him/her, you can make them understand financial security and expectations.

Sharing money goals together

My next and most useful tips would be sharing money goals that I follow in my marriage, and it works. As a couple, you can start a conversation about what’s working and what’s not working financially for both.

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Set monthly money goals based on you and your partner’s needs and values. It is always a better idea to set small and short-term goals on things that work for both.

Also, if both want to keep their money separate, then communicate appropriately about what financial responsibility each will take.

For example, if the wife/girlfriend takes the responsibility of paying the house rent and other utility bills, then the husband/boyfriend takes care of the other things along with savings.

If you have clear communication about ‘money matters,’ then your relationship will never go through any trouble that concerns ‘money.’

Share common goals

Be comfortable about splitting your money

Yes, when you are committed to a relationship it means you love that person and willing to share everything, even your money.

Many have issues about sharing or splitting their hard-earned money. Now, if you have such concerns, then you must talk about this to your partner. You must openly talk to him/her about your money issues so that your partner will have the choice to come up with a concrete plan that won’t affect the relationship.

Having said that, everyone isn’t the same. So, be comfortable in addressing money to your partner.

Talk about savings

Now, as the article is about ‘how to talk about money in a new relationship, I think ‘money savings’ is an important part.

So, like in the first few points, I have emphasized on ‘communicating about money matters at an early stage.’ When both establish trust and faith in each other, start talking about how should they do their savings.

Once again, while talking about ‘money savings,’ there might be differences in opinion, but with realistic discussion, the problem won’t last long.

Especially when in a new relationship it gets harder to talk about ‘savings.’ During my early days of relationship, my husband and I had opposite thoughts about ‘money.’

I am more economical; I think twice before excessive spending, and my husband, on the other hand, had a weird thought that money is earned to spend.

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Well, of course, when I first heard that it wasn’t what I expected of him. But with time and thousands of times of conversation on money and savings, now he knows very well why savings is essential, no matter what.

Likewise, if you are in the same situation, take baby steps and start communicating about how, when, and where should they invest and save their money.

Well, your partner may feel that you are pressing him/her, but eventually, it will work.

Talk about savings to your partner

Savings for Retirement/Future

As a couple from the beginning of your relationship, you must start saving your money for the long term. Talk to each other on how much can you save on a monthly basis after all the expenses. The more you save, the better for your future security.

If both the individual is the earning member, develop a comfort zone in your relationship where both can communicate about money to each other. There are several retirements plan that you can start gathering information about and start putting your money for fulfilling long term savings goals.

Debt

Are you having an education loan or house loan or car loan?

Whatever debt you have, be frank with your partner about your financial picture. Commit to significantly reducing your debt, don’t expect him/her to pay off. If your partner wants to help, then that’s your luck. But don’t keep your partner in a blindside about your current debt issue.

Sometimes, people think that if they tell their partner about their debt, then he/she might runoff, especially when in a new relationship. Because eventually, the debt comes on your partner’s shoulder as well if married which becomes a hindrance and causes financial stress between a couple.

Conclusion

Therefore, talk, talk, and more talk about money with your spouse when you are in a newly committed relationship.

Create a positive and comfortable space between both where you can discuss anything on earth and especially about ‘money,’ of course.

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Hello, I am Paulomi Dutta stay in Pune, India with my loving husband. I love to read, travel and cook. I have been thinking about blogging for the past three years and now finally all is set to start my World Up Close. I will be writing about places, relationships, good and smart living and lastly, will be writing on money and financial tips. My motive is to help others through whatever knowledge I have and can share with you all. Being an introvert person, two things I love the most painting and writing. Both involve sharing thoughts with the outer world. I hope my little effort to help through my articles will be appreciable and noticed. Thank you.

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