Do you and your spouse fight a lot? Is it affecting your marriage? Do you want to know how to stop fighting in a relationship and save it from ruining?
Every couple argues when something isn’t going on as per their wishes or due to differences in opinion. Even sometimes couple does argue a lot on almost everything.
I know that phase when you argue, get upset and keep your mouth shut the whole day. The ending of an argument can always be frustrating. It brings no happiness. A bad and sad day isn’t it?
I am married for five and half years now, and like every other couple, we almost frequently get ourselves tangled in arguments too.
Let me tell you, yesterday morning me and my husband had a petty argument on ‘why hasn’t he read my last blog article.’
Although, it was foolish of me to say that because he is very supportive and does read all the articles that I write. It was just the last article that he couldn’t because he was so tied up in his office work.
So, from that sentence, it started. But our argument was quickly cooled down.
Are you stunned to know that how we did that?
As a couple we never let our argument ruin our day. Instead, we maintain certain ways that help us in stopping an argument immediately.
How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship without much effort –
It says an argument is an art. You can argue in a way where you can be the winner.
Fighting or arguing is a part of a relationship. You sometimes tend to argue when you want to express your strong opinions or emotions to your partner.
All couples argue. Some argue less and some more. Some in a decent way and some literally fight. It isn’t important how you fight or argue. But it should be fair.
Let’s see what we have on the list:
Don’t yell, talk more ( Effective Communication is key)
One of the oldest tricks that perhaps every couple should follow. It all turned out miserable when each started yelling at one another.
There is no need to yell or shout, instead, try to remain calm. Try not to overreact at that moment of heat.
Often what happens, when you yell in an argument you tend to say or behave rudely which might hurt your partner/spouse’s feelings.
If you are smart, you won’t engage yourself in that argument. You will stay calm and let your spouse/partner do the yelling part.
Eventually, she/he will stop if not getting any response from you.
Give your partner a moment to cool down and then you both sit and resolve your issues by talking.
Accept your fault
There is no shame in accepting your fault. If you know that the reason for the argument is you, maybe you have done or said something wrong ‘accept it.’ You will see the argument will stop then and there.
Don’t ever exaggerate
Always remember, say no to ‘exaggeration.’ It is not wise to drag a simple thing to a greater extent. I hope you understood my point.
If you want to stop an argument seriously, don’t keep adding up things to a discussion. An attempt like this rather ends up in disappointment.
Storing up past grievances and complaints might add up to your current situation. It often happens in a relationship, when in an argument one opens up about his/her past accusations.
Try to solve one problem at a time. If you come to know about her grievances, talk to your partner, try to make it work and most importantly, keep patience.
Your argument will end within a minute if you sweetly say ‘SORRY’. It will melt down the anger immediately.
You can later say whatever you have to, but the best thing is, you no longer have to be in an argument.
Winning shouldn’t be the motive
A couple should keep in mind that the objective is to solve the problem. If you think you have to win the argument, then you will end up losing the happiness of your beautiful relationship.
Avoid accusations on each other
Stop accusing each other; it will cause each to defend themselves. You can avoid this by talking politely and expressing to each other. A couple should always no matter what respect each other’s emotions and listen to opinions. Accusations are lame, it does nothing instead escalate a situation.
If you have issues with each other, explain and understand not blaming each other.
Go for a walk together and discuss
Walking and talking is a good combination. It is a great thing to do. Go for a 30 minutes’ walk and let each express their views.
You can share your emotions, opinions, and complaints while just walking. It will reduce the stress and brings you both close.
Be clear about what you are saying
You cannot expect your partner to mind read. How would your partner know what do you want or what is your expectation if you don’t convey?
Research has shown that often people those who clearly don’t express their feelings are more likely to feel unhappy and disturb.
Eventually, they pile up these emotions and later when they explode it turn a relationship into sour.
Appreciate your partner
Who says ‘I LOVE YOU’ during an argument?
Correct. If you see your partner is all gear up to attack with words and have a fierce look on his/her face, you better say ‘I LOVE YOU’ and appreciate the effort your partner puts in everything.
You can tell your spouse how much you love her/him and you are sorry if you have done anything wrong.
That’s it. You will see there will be no argument whatsoever.
Is Argument Good for Your Relationship?
You must be thinking how can argue is good for a relationship?
Well, if you know how to deal with arguments, then it brings no harm to your relationship.
Every individual has a different perspective on everything. Their ways of expressing will also be different, but it is important how they are dealing with difficult situations.
We keep discussing the factors that keep a relationship healthy and holds together.
Many won’t agree with me, but I genuinely think ‘conflict’ can also be a good factor in a relationship.
- It teaches you how to deal with the situation
- It makes you aware of the fact ‘how strong is your relationship is.’
- It lets a person (wife/husband) express their opinion, likes or dislikes strongly
- Conflict/argument gives you a chance to work out where your understanding is lacking
- It sometimes brings an element of surprise in your relationship. You come to know your partner’s deepest thoughts or grievances that you are ignorant of
- Lastly, I believe conflict sometimes can be just a playful communication.
It all depends on how maturely and positively you can resolve your arguments.
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If you want to contribute/ share something related to relationship/ marriage, please feel free to contact me.