Rebuilding trust is hard, painful and need a lot of dedication. If you want to mend your broken relationship and rebuilding trust is the only way to save it, you must know how to do that.
A few days ago, I have written an article sharing ‘how to build trust in a relationship.’ After posting that article, I received a few emails from the readers asking for “how to rebuild/regain trust in a relationship after cheating.”
Though I have not experienced in that area of ‘cheating’ thing in my relationship, I can definitely suggest few best steps to help those looking for an answer.
Every couple has a different relationship experience. Some are having an extraordinary relationship because they have extraordinary partners.
Some are in a relationship where both the partners are equally compatible with each other. Some relationships don’t do well because of various reasons.
I will not go deep into the troubles that relationships commonly face. I will rather provide solutions on how to rebuild trust in a relationship after cheating or in any case.
I have known many in my friend circle who are going through a rough relationship, and they often seek help from me. I try my best to provide relationship aid.
Based on what I have seen, heard, and experience,s I would be sharing the –
How to rebuild trust in your relationship
Ask for Forgiveness
Whoever has broken the trust must apologies genuinely. Sometimes your partner may not accept your apology because he/she is extremely hurt. You must give your partner some space and time to heal emotionally.
What you can do is to apologize for your actions that have brought misfortune to your relationship. Forgiveness brings peace and has the power to rebuild trust in a relationship.
Also, you can not expect to get forgiveness instantly; that will be foolishness. Show sincerity when you say ‘sorry,’ do not escalate the situation by saying anything rubbish.
Be calm and show your remorse and give your partner enough reasons to put the trust in you again.
Show Willingness to Work on the Relationship
It is a very necessary step to follow when you want to improve your relationship and regain your partner’s trust.
Remember, if you have broken the trust, if you want to revive your relationship, it is your responsibility to give 100% to mend the relationship with your partner.
You cannot do anything alone to revive your relationship; you will need your partner’s support. To get at least a little support from your partner, you must show willingness, dedication, and sincerity to work on your relationship.
If there is still love in your relationship, if your partner still wants you back but can’t trust you again, you must do everything to your best to reconcile.
Recreate Old Memories
By recreating the old memories of your relationship, you can step forward towards mending the broken heart of your partner.
As I mentioned above, it takes time, and you have to deal with the situation calmly and patiently.
It takes both effort and time to build trust in a relationship, but it takes triple the effort and time to ‘rebuild’ broken trust in a relationship.
If you are the trust breaker of your partner, you would need to think of several ways to show your partner that you are repenting and want a way back in the relationship.
Recreating old memories is a beautiful and thoughtful way to do that. The years of togetherness you have spent together is always special and memorable.
As a part of forgiveness, you can recreate a collective of old memories of love to show how much you still think of your partner and your relationship still deserve to get a chance.
For example, you can recreate an old memory of how you proposed your partner, etc.
Communication is always the key element in a relationship. Communication is important in all aspects of establishing a relationship. But you have to know how to communicate effectively with your partner.
When you have breached the trust once it is normal that your partner will feel insecure and think you may break the trust again.
If you want to make your relationship work and rebuild trust, you must communicate clearly and precisely with your partner about everything that went wrong.
Do not be defensive while communicating; sit down with your partner and start a gentle communication.
Sometimes the situation doesn’t permit communication; for example, if your partner doesn’t want to talk, you must not force.
Depends on the gravity of the situation, understand when and how your partner feels comfortable talking.
Because you alone cannot communicate, healthy communication will establish when both will come under the same roof.
Let Your Partner Vent Anger on you
It is obvious that your partner will be extremely hurtful, disappointed, and angry. So, let her/him vent that anger on you. It is okay on your partner’s side to react.
How can you support or handle the situation?
The best thing that you can do is to try to evaluate your partner’s emotions and requirements.
For example, if your partner doesn’t want to see you, it means he/she wants some space. If your partner is emotionally broken and seeking an explanation from you of your actions, it clearly means he/she is open to face-face communication.
Do whatever your partner wants in that situation, and be genuinely apologetic.
Take Added Responsibility
In the above point, I have mentioned giving your 100% in your relationship and show your willingness to work on your responsibilities and duties.
Your partner might not show any interest or might not even get engage with anything related to you, but you have to show her genuinely that you will do anything to get a second chance.
You will go to any extent to rebuild the trust. You have to willingly take added responsibilities for your family, kids, and other things that you don’t use to bother earlier.
You have to work on taking initiatives towards your relationship calmly.
Plan Surprise dates
Dating is a great way to express love to your partner. If you want to rebuild trust in your relationship, planning surprise dates occasionally is one of the best things to do.
There are unlimited dating ideas you can plan to surprise your partner. You can plan a surprise date at home, you can plan a date to recreate old memories, or you can also plan outdoor dates.
The purpose of planning a date is to make your partner feel special and important.
There is a risk, though. You have to keep in mind that this won’t be any normal romantic date; it might even get backfired.
You have to understand that you are not planning a date to impress your love partner. You are doing it to express your love for your partner and remorse for breaking the trust.
Do not Make Promises Rather Ask for a Second Chance
You have already broken the most important code of relationship, i.e., ‘trust.’ It would be foolish to make promises to your partner again. Your partner will never take it positively. The first thing he/she will point out is about ‘breaking promises.’
Instead, you can ask politely for a second chance. You can ask your partner to give their relationship a chance to improve, a chance to relive and recreate their love together.
If your partner feels the same towards you, you might want to work on it together and forgive you.
Be Patient & Give Time
It is easy to jump into a relationship, but it is hard to maintain a healthy relationship.
If you seek ‘how to rebuild trust in a relationship after cheating’ along with everything, you have to be patient & give time to your partner.
Your partner has the upper hand to decide what to do with you and the relationship in this situation.
If you have cheated on your partner, he/she might not want to live with you. Or, in some cases, your partner might even forgive you and give a second chance.
What can you do?
You can assure your partner not to repeat or break the trust ever. Definitely, words won’t be enough; it is only through actions you can prove.
Make Small Changes
How can you make small changes, and it will help rebuilding trust in your relationship?
As an individual, you can start taking initiatives towards improvement in your relationship and yourself.
If your partner sees radical changes in your habits, actions, and indirectly, it positively impacts your relationship; this positive effort might change your partner.
You can do a lot of things to make small changes in yourself. For example, you can start living a healthy life, making small changes in your lifestyle, taking up responsibilities, dedicated enough towards your kids and relationship.
It may take an indefinite time, but it will start showing positive results and help to rebuild trust in your relationship.
Do not Give Justifications
Never ever give justifications for your miserable actions. Your partner will seek an answer and explanation for your actions that have put a crack on the relationship. You must never give justifications for your fault because whatever you say, it will never please your partner.
Instead of giving justifications, try to be reasonable with your partner.
See, no one can tell you how much time it will take to ‘rebuild trust in a relationship after cheating,’ if you really want to save and mend your relationship, you must work hard.
The 11 steps mentioned above will help you partially save and rebuild trust in your relationship with your partner.