How to Make friends in your 20s and 30s

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Remember when you were in school? You had so many friends. They were like your family. It wasn’t a hard thing to make friends then. Studying with your friends, seeing them every day, celebrating friendship day, birthdays was fun.

However, it gets a little challenging when you are in your 20s and 30s. When you are in your 20s, you have probably finished your college.

You might have set your journey in achieving great things by continuing university or have started a job somewhere.

Meeting new people at a new place is intimidating and exciting too. You are different in both the age groups. In your 20s, you are not a kid anymore.

You are an adult, have started exploring the world outside your comfort zone. You will meet new people around the different corners of the world. You will get to know them and you will make friends with a few.

Whereas, when you are in your 30s, you are a more mature, independent, and a busy person. You will certainly have a very few friends with whom you are close.

Your life is busier than it used to be when you were in your 20s. You can no longer hang out with your friends whenever you want. You have to schedule and check with others too.

You have more life experience and a better understanding of what makes a good friend. You will make friend who share a similar taste and interest.

You may think, “I have friends already. I don’t need new friends.”

But sometimes we need new friends, given the situation, say, you have moved to a new city. Your friends are no longer in the same city. You can no longer visit them when you want.

If you enjoy your own company, then you can survive being alone in a new city. But if you love being around friends, it will be hard for you to stay all alone in a new city.

How to Make Friends in Your 20s and 30s –

It’s difficult to find friends in your late 20s and 30s. But there are ways that can help you do that. Certainly, it will require a great amount of time and patience.

Go Out

No matter what’s your age is, the best way to make new friend is by going out where gatherings are.

You can explore your interests and try different things, there you might find someone with whom you can relate.

Going out alone and exploring is easier for the one who is in their 20s, but difficult for 30s.

As you get older, your life gets surrounded by important people like your husband, children. You get focused on your career and hardly had the time to go out randomly just to meet new faces.

Be Open Minded

Being open-minded is as important as anything else in your 20s and 30s. When you are in your 30s, I know it’s difficult to meet new people and especially approaching them.

I am in my early 30s and I often feel the need to meet new people and make new friends. But I can’t because I fear rejection and not very comfortable of approaching. The negative side of being an introvert.

This becomes easier when you are in your 20s. You are new to the real world and just got out of the shell. Meeting new people interests you.

Being open-minded helps you cultivate friendship with people of different background and values.

For example, you are shy and introvert, have interests in books. You like people of similar taste, but you met a guy who is the opposite of you and both are now best friends.

Your friend is outspoken, expressive, loves sports, traveling and music. Both have a very different personality but both are friends because something might have clicked.

man and woman smiling while laying on lawn field

Be the first one to say ‘Hi

You don’t need to be an extrovert to make friends. You just need confidence and enough bravery to say ‘hi.’

Many struggles to approach at first when it comes to make friends. As you go through your life, you will meet people at workplaces, outside, university, clubs, etc.

You don’t have to say ‘hi’ to everyone. If you see an acquaintance, be the first one to greet and say hello. After a few meetings, you might end of being friends after all.

Join Club/lectures together

For anyone who doesn’t know where to make friends, joining clubs and lectures is a good idea. If you are looking to expand your social circles, joining club will solve your purpose.

If you are in your early 20s studying in the university and looking for a friend, start attending subject lectures.

You will find many new faces sharing similar academic interest. This could be your start and once you introduce yourself to a significant XYZ, he/she could be your friend from the very same day.

Start talking about the subject topics or related something. If that interest both, soon you will see yourself exchanging phone numbers.

However, clubs have become old-fashioned, the new trending way of making new friend is through online.

But as you know internet is not the safest place to make friends, so let’s rely on the old-fashioned method only.

Certainly, you will find many strangers right in front of you in the clubs and lecture room. It will be intimidating, as getting out of your comfort zone won’t be easy when you hit the 30s.

But once you go and take the first baby step, you will see how comfortable you are getting.

Enrol in Activities

Enrolling in activities is not only a way to meet different people but also you can make friends. It’s important to try new things to keep yourself motivated and help yourself find a purpose.

If you join a dance class or an art class, you will find people around you. You can establish a social interaction and when you keep on meeting them, you will make friends in time.

Some activities like yoga, cooking class, art class are perfect for making friends in your 30s. Whereas activities like dance class, sports club, Zumba, language class are idea for making friends in your 20s.  

You don’t have to reach out to each. Eventually, you will find like-minded people for interaction.

zumba class

Be friends of mutual friends

Sometimes it gets hard to find new friends. As long as you are in the school you have a routine and you meet your friends daily.

The routine breaks when you are in your 20s and 30s. Either you are busy in your career or likely to spend more time with your family. The network becomes smaller and you socialize less outside your work.

Thus, it makes difficult for you to find new friends and establish an emotional connection for a long-term friendship.

Thus, the question remains, “how to make friends in your 20s and 30s?”

The best way to make friends in this age group is by being friendly with the people who have mutual friends. You can introduce yourself as a friend of their mutual friend.

These days Facebook easily lets you know who your mutual friends are.

how to make friends in your 20s and 30s

Do lunch together at office

The lunch time is the only time at offices when you can socialize and interact face to face with your colleagues. People in their late 20s are more focused in their job, many prefer to keep fewer friends.

Well, if you have joined a new company, you would certainly need a friend or a good co-worker whom you can call your friend.

You can spend time having lunch together in the office cafeteria and talk about things that both are comfortable talking.

Maintain contact

When you are in your 20s and 30s, making new friends is tough and time taking. Thus, staying in touch with old friends is important because they know you better and can give you the support in times of crisis.

As you grow old and move on with the pace of life, it is easy to lose contact with old friends. You hardly message or call.

But it is way easier than making a new friend. You can make an acquaintance through your old friend.

Schedule time for your friend

Friendship is a commitment. It needs to be cared. It is important to have good friends but for that you need to know them. You need to spend time with them.

When you are in your 30s, you are no longer a high school kid. You have tons of responsibilities now. When it comes to meet your friend, you have to look for your calender to schedule a meeting.

Consider how valuable your friend is to you. To establish a good bonding, spending quality time is important. You can take up activity classes together.

woman sitting on swing

Talk about things that both share similar interests

The next best way to make friends in your 20s and 30s is to talk about things that both have in common.

For example, you met a guy in the gym where both are regular. You approached him first and involved in a conversation about fitness and healthcare.

Likewise, when you share common interest, it gives you the opportunity to talk and spend more time.

Eventually, when you get to know each other well, you will officially make a new friend.

Indeed, it takes time and effort. Nothing comes for free.

If you have kids, connect with other parents

In your 30s, you are most likely married and have kids. You are a busy person who doesn’t have much time to shed in making new friends.

How will you make a new friend then?

One of the best ways to make friends as a parent is by connecting with other parents. When you pick up or drop off your kids, make small talk with the other parents of the same age group.

Talk about school schedule, subjects, food, parenting, and so on.

If you still find it hard to interact, join different parents’ group online or attend parents teacher meetings.

two women making peace sign near the Golden Gate bridge

Chat with your older friends online

I know you might not be active online because of other engagements and priorities. But old friends will remain your friends. All you need to do is to maintain the contact.

These days, when you are in your 20s and 30s, life treats you differently. You get a lot busier at work, family, kids. You hardly get the time for yourself, certainly staying online feels wasting time.

But once in a while you can call them and say hi or drop a message, chat a little, talk about the good old free days and share other things that’s going on in your life.

It feels great to be in touch with old pals.

You can be new friends all over again at a different age.

Invite them for dinner

When I moved to Seattle two years ago, I used to feel lonely sometimes. Though traveling was one lovely thing that I loved doing there. Not every day was the same, felt the same. I also wanted friends and hang out.

Completely new in the city, I looked for ways to make new friends in a new city.

I joined the community gym centre and there I met a girl a little older than me. We were different culturally, so had a lot to talk.

I invited her over to lunch at my place and for hours we shared and communicated about so many things.

Inviting someone makes them feel appreciated and welcoming. You can find out about their interests and also give them the chance to open up.

This is a great idea to make friends when you are looking for a friend desperately. If you are not comfortable inviting at your place, invite them at a restaurant or a park.

friends over dinner

Join the same sports team

Joining a sports team can be a wonderful idea to meet new people and make friends. You can join swimming classes along with the person with whom you want to be friends.

People joining the same sports team become closer quickly, which leads to stronger relationship.

This way of making friends is ideal for the one who is in their 20s.

Be Patient

You will meet many people but not all will be your friends. You have to keep patience to find the right person whom you can trust and care.

Do Things together

When I was in the US, I joined the community gym centre where I found a great friend. Have I told you how did our friendship started?

Once we discovered that we have common things to share and love each other’s company. We started doing things together, like going to the library, for a walk, going for a movie together, going to the grocery store together, and so on.

It helped us both open up to each other better and creating a bond of friendship stronger.

Unfortunately, now we are far away from each other as I am back in India and somewhere amidst our busy life, both have lost the connection. We message to each other sometimes.


 If you are trying to make new friends in your 20s and 30s, it’s important to show them you are trustable and interested in forming a friendship.

But before jumping into that step, you must consider spending time with them a little to understand them. Look for their interests, behavioural pattern and see if you can be friends.

We all need good friends for emotional support.

There is a famous quote, “A true friend is never apart, may be in distance but never in heart.”

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