How to let go ego in relationship and how can you fix it?
It’s a very interesting question, and this is one of the most common relationship issues couples face today.
A small three letter word “EGO” is so powerful and evil that if not appropriately dealt with, can create significant issues in any relationship.
Let’s be honest. We all have an ego, and there have been several occasions in our life when we let our ego control us. Ego is a sensitive part of our psyche at the same a negative quality.
How Ego Kills Relationship
In a relationship, everything needs to be balanced. Several elements help to keep a marriage healthy. But ego is one such thing that ruins a relationship, which means eventually kills your marriage.
How exactly EGO works? Signs of EGO in Relationships
To understand ‘Ego’, you have to know the definition of it.
According to Sigmund Freud, there are three things that work in human psychology, the id, the Ego and the Superego.
The ‘id’ is the primitive and unconscious suppressed trait of mind that runs through impulses and need.
The ‘Ego’ works on the reality. It’s job is to understand, acknowledge and ensure the Id’s impulses, but socially acceptable.
The ‘Superego’ is the last phase of the personality which grows over time and it understands the moral values, upholds a sense of right and wrong, and it is the conscious part of a human mind.
One needs to always control the ‘ego’ as it is the most vulnerable.
Do you think ego is more valuable to you than your love?
When a couple loves each other, there shouldn’t be left any space for negative feelings to erupt. The ego is a part of the brain that needs to be accepted and loved.
We all have ego, and it gets nasty when you don’t accept or recognize. Your ego makes you think you are perfect, you can’t be wrong, you can’t be pointed out by someone. Can you imagine how this kind of stubborn behaviour will affect your relationship?
On different occasions, ego struggles to cope up with the reality of life. We can say, ego is that evil thing which loves to take control of us.
If you keep holding your ego and let it gets dominate over you, it will put a barrier between you and your partner.
Even if, your love is genuine, this ego of yours will stop you whenever you will try to approach towards your partner for reconciliations.
It will make you feel weak. It will make you do things that you don’t like but end up hurting yourself, your soul mate, and your marriage.
For example: Let me tell give you one such common example where our ego shows its evil spirit.
“It happens in several marriages where a wife’s earning is more than her husband. The husband although loves his wife dearly, but his ego comes often and pokes him feeling “dominated by her wife.”
The wife may be contributing more to the household expenses, doing everything that she does to make her marital life blissful but his ego can’t accept the fact that his wife is earning more than him.
With each passing day, months this ego will start drilling his mind with evil thoughts. And the rest you can imagine..”
Do you see how ‘ego’ has turned up a good relationship into bitter?
It doesn’t matter who earns more. What only matter is love, mutual respect that a husband and wife should share in a marriage/relationship.
If you feel your ego is coming on your way, then shakes it off immediately. Be positive about each other. Be honest. Share your feelings with your spouse. Stop thinking “what she/he will think if I say this.”
“I won’t deny it. Even I have an ego; it happened quite a few times when my husband and I had an argument and ended up hurting each other’s feelings and ego. We didn’t talk for a day or two, and the silence between the two is even more hurtful, and we can’t let ego let our happiness get ruin.”
Common Signs of Ego in Relationships
The Desire to be Right Every time
You Don’t Listen At All
Communication Takes a Setback
You See Yourself Better Than Everyone Else
Play the Victim Card
Pride and Arrogance Makes You Blind
Admitting Your Fault is Hard
Now, to keep your ego aside, you need to work in specific areas.
How to let go ego in relationships – 3 Simple Ways
Several incidents will happen, where you both mightn’t agree with each other but always try to maintain the dignity of your relationship. Don’t let cultivate ego in you.
Marriage is an institution where a husband and a wife are equal and have equal importance. It is an ideal way to handle/avoid ego to come between a relationship if partners accept each other as they are.
Every person has negative and positive qualities. Embrace and respect each other in every situation of your married life.
- It is alright to be wrong
Overcome the feeling of need to be better than your spouse. It is okay to be wrong sometimes. Don’t let your ego control your mind thinking “I am never wrong and I have done nothing wrong.” Have that courage to accept your fault.
You will make mistakes you will learn. There is no shame in that.
Always remember, you and your spouse are equal.
- Acknowledge each other’s weaknesses
As I always say, communication is the key to a happy relationship. Try to communicate as much as possible and accept each other’s difference of opinion.
Listen to what your partner wants to convey and discuss everything so that both can find a solution.
Every couple deserves to be happy and if you think –
“he/she has hurt my ‘ego’ that is impossible for me to forget and forgive.”
Then, my friend, I would say you are terribly wrong. You need to embrace your relationship and marriage.
Take positive initiatives in small things of your daily marriage life, and by letting go of your ‘ego,’ you will see where your relationship stands. You will hold in a better place with your spouse in your marriage.
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