Married or not married, do you often question yourself, “Am I married to the right person”?
Or, when you hit the thirties and your parents are all on you for getting marry, you may think, who would be the right person for me to marry? How will I find the right someone whom I could spend my entire life?
These are common yet important questions that might pop up after a certain age.
Finding the right person to marry is a huge decision. You shouldn’t take a hasty decision about choosing your life partner. It can’t be done quickly. For some, it takes years to find the right person to marry.
There are several things that people search for in their partner. Apart from only love, there are several other factors we/you need to take into consideration before getting marry.
There is no age bar to get married. You can get your Mr. right and Mrs. right in your early thirties or even in your forties.
Meeting and finding the right person to be with might seem like a hopeless and a daunting task.
Often eligible personalities get societal pressure to get married. When you hit the thirties, you wouldn’t want to live alone any longer. You want to be with someone who is the man of your dream or the lady of your dream.
To find the right person or the man/lady of your dream to marry, you would need to observe and understand several things. You might have to date often to understand that person. To read his/her mind, you have to communicate clearly.
It’s possible that he/she is interested in getting married.
Marriage often changes your life in many ways. Change is good when you experience that with the right person. It glorifies your married life.
Who will be the right person for you to get married?
In this article, we will discuss that.
The criteria of the right person to marry varies from person to person. For you, the person having a lot of money and settled life aboard is the right one to marry. Whereas for another, someone having a kind heart and peaceful life matters.
You can never find out the right someone without meeting and talking with them. Dating is a wise option to meet and understand them.
Certainly, you wouldn’t commit to marry while dating. Date as many as possible to know and understand the person.
Now, what are the common factors you need to observe carefully, that may help you later in culminating a successful and a happy marriage life.
How to Find the Right Person to Marry
Ask Yourself What You Are Looking for in Your Partner
Before you start looking for your Mr. right, you must ask yourself what do you want or what are the traits that you are looking for in your partner.
For example, you might want someone who has a similar belief in faith, family, and life.
To give you a more clear example, let’s take my case. I have always wanted someone to get married who is truthful, kind and stands for what’s right. In a nutshell, a principle worthy person.
Before marrying, I dated a few, and neither of them turned into a serious relationship. They weren’t what I was looking for in my partner.
I date my husband only 5 times and after talking to him for months I was sure that he is the one with whom I can be happy.
We got married, and after 6 years of love; I gave birth to a baby boy. My small family is my happy world.
To feel this is what I feel now, you have to be patient enough to understand yourself first. What you need, what you want from a relationship and from your partner. Figure out what’s important for you.
Marriage is a scared union of two souls and to unite into one you have to understand people, and make the right decision for your life.
Loves and Accept you
You might be in a love relationship. Your mind started questioning, “shall I marry him?” “Is he the right one to marry?” “Should I accept his marriage proposal”?
Even though you are in a relationship still it confuses you. How will you understand if he is the one for you or not?
Definitely, love matters the most. It is love that will drive your relationship till the end. But love alone can’t make your relationship/bonding strong.
See does your partner accepts you gracefully for who you are or how you are?
One of the key reason to a successful relationship is understanding and acceptance of who your partner is. Accepting her flaws, and weaknesses, too, with no judgement.
Showing unconditional love also means accepting everything gracefully of your significant other.
Remember, acceptance leads to compassion, which leads to understanding, and understanding helps build a strong relationship.
So, put your effort into understanding these two key elements in your significant other. If he only loves you and there is no acceptance, that’s not love. Hence, you should never marry them.
Listens to You
Not all men or women have the patience and ability to listen to your partner calmly. I have explained in “how to be a better listener in a relationship”.
Here I have mentioned why and how listening can save your relationship and you can adapt to listening habits.
While finding the right person to marry, look for someone who will listen to you. A healthy relationship requires not just love, communication is a crucial element.
Communication is a two-way street, not just talking. You would need to listen to one another to establish a healthy communication.
This can be a challenging task, especially when you are looking for the Mr. right.
How will you understand if the significant someone has the listening ability or not?
Obviously, you have to meet, talk and observe. Date often. The more you will communicate, the better you will understand a person. Hence, it will help with taking a decision.
Respect can be defined as holding someone in high esteem and treating them with equality. While looking for the right person to marry, you must find the one who respects you in every possible way.
In a relationship, respect is key.
When it comes to marriage, there are tons of things to consider. It is not important to find someone perfect, but it is important to find someone who fits you well.
When you have marriage in your mind, you can’t say compromise will hold the relationship. When your partner doesn’t share similar life goals, values and dreams as you do, it becomes harder to hold the relationship together.
For example, you are a liberal, travel enthusiasts and outgoing person, whereas your partner is a workaholic, lazy person who likes the least to travel. He thinks traveling is a waste of money.
Can you two survive with each other in your marriage? I highly doubt.
A relationship always goes through a lot of ups and down. It is important that both the partners are on the same page. It helps solve the tensions quickly and calmly without leading to potential breakups.
Marrying someone with the same ambitions and goals in life helps to grow together. Also, it ensures giving the relationship a strong foundation.
With the similar dreams and desires, it becomes easier for both in decision-making.
For example, when you both have the same ambition in work life, both can manage household and children equally. Keeping everything in balance.
My husband and I share the same desires, values, belief and ambition. It helps us keep a balance in our relationship and brings happiness to our abode.
Figure Out Your Compatibility
It is important to check the compatibility level with your partner before you commit. Find someone who share similar hobby, style, belief, and choice. If you are compatible with your partner, it makes your life easier and lets you both enjoy the married life.
For example, find out what’s he/she likes to enjoy. Do they enjoy camping outside, movies or painting? You love traveling. If your partner too loves traveling, how that would be? Won’t you both enjoy each other’s company while traveling then?
See If Both Are on the Same Page About Finances
Couples often fight about finances in their married life, which leads to divorces. To avoid conflict, you must find someone who has a similar financial approach to yours.
Money can always be a big issue in married life. Those who don’t communicate about their financial status, brings home tension and crisis.
I always believe with the right communication, any problems can be solved. Talk to them about how do they save money, what’s their financial security is, how do they spend and etc.
Even if you are earning, talk about what the financial contribution each can give in the family.
These are some basic yet crucial things that could save your relationship from getting ruined.
Thus, find someone who openly talks and shares about money matters with you.
You Can Trust
There is no perfect partner. Every person has their own set of values and beliefs. But you can certainly say who is the right partner for you and who isn’t.
Apart from love, being supportive and an understanding individual, look for how trustworthy that person is.
Trust is the foundation of a happy relationship. It is easy to break the trust, but hard to rebuild.
While looking for the right partner to marry, you must ensure in every way if that person is trustworthy or not. Observe their behaviour and find out any past events of cheating.
Take your time to build the trust. Do not have a blind fate on your partner even if you are in a relationship with them.
To have a successful marriage, find someone who never lies and knows the importance of trust in a relationship.
You Can Make Each Other Laugh
I think when people are in a relationship, laughter is one of the most important things that they need to keep each other happy and satisfied.
Find someone who can make you laugh in a tense situation, or when you are upset. Having some good laugh together calms your nerves, relieves you from a tensed situation, boosts the mood, and brings both closer.
Laughter and humor are the two elements that enhance relationships by bonding both over differences.
So, you can imagine why it is important to have someone as your life partner who can make you laugh over a random thing or conversation.
Friendship helps a relationship to grow. You may think “I am finding out the right person to marry not a friend”.
Marriage is a long journey. In the beginning of few years, it feels all exciting, fresh and surprising things to do. But after a phase, monotony creeps into the married life.
It feels doing the same thing repeatedly all week, months and years.
The monotony of marriage life sometimes pushes a partner to take the wrong path of cheating. Eventually ruining your married life.
If there is a strong bonding of friendship between you and your partner, even amidst the dullness and busy life, both can find a space to bring spark in your married life.
Let me take you back to my marriage. My husband and I have a great friendship. We are good friends first and then husband and wife.
There are several matters in a marriage that become easier to handle if you are friends with each other.
Thus, my advice would be to find someone who believes in friendship.
Helps You Grow
Find a partner to marry who can help you grow in a relationship by accepting your faults and respecting your strengths.
Research shows that spouses can help grow good habits and raises the bar of perfection. If your relationship is healthy and successful, it will give you a cheerful space to grow and let grow the other.
If there is understanding and respect for each other’s occupation, ambition, dreams and desires, spouses can be very supportive of personal and professional growth.
They can be your constant motivator. They can cheer you up to do better. They can guide and motivate you to achieve what you dream of.
They can be your biggest advocate in overcoming obstacles blocking your path to success. Thus, before marrying your guy, find out how much supportive they are.
You Are Comfortable Around Your Partner
Find someone you are comfortable with. When you are around him/her, you feel yourself. You can freely laugh, cry, express what you feel. You can be whatever you want to be.
You can be crazy, ugly, silly, funny. You know if it is the right person, he/she will accept you the way you are.
I could give you several more reasons that give the hint he/she is the right person to marry.
However, the above are some of the key elements you need to observe in a person who will ensure you, or give you the feeling. Yes, I found the right person for me to marry.