How to Deal with Anxiety in a Relationship

Relationships go through a lot of ups and down. When you are in a committed relationship, if something unusual happen anxiety automatically creeps in. There are many couples who suffer from anxiety in a relationship about their relationship.

Questions like does she love me, does he love me, does she care about me as much as I do and the line of questions continues to pop into your mind.

It is most commonly called relationship anxiety, where either you or your partner have doubts about the stability of your relationship.

While anxiety is the worst nightmare as it affects a relationship deeply. If you are anxious, it will affect your partner.

Although relationship anxiety is normal to have. Even in my seven years of married life, my husband and I get anxiety when things go off between us.

So, how do you deal with this new issue? How will you recognize it?

I am here going to share some tips and ways that I have learned while dealing with anxiety in my relationship. This will hopefully will give some encouragement as well.

couple in love kissing forehead

Anxiety in Relationship

The most common type of anxiety in relationship: insecurity.

When we are not sure about our position in a relationship, we get scared and insecure.

Have you ever felt left out in your relationship? Or, if you ever worry about your partner’s feelings for you?

Have you ever wondered what will happen if someday your partner stops loving you? Have you been worrying about why you and your partner are fighting frequently?

There could be endless reasons to be insecure in a relationship. Even if you are married for years, insecurity can slowly poison your relationship and bring a constant anxiety.

Here is the thing in a relationship that I have learned so far: even if you are in a perfect blissful relationship and in love for years, we human beings have the tendency to worry about silly matters in our relationship.

The moment you have doubts and fear, it will turn into anxiety. It’s common when you need reassurance in a relationship.

For example, I often ask my husband if he loves me enough to stick with me for the entire life? If he still loves me the way he used to back in early days?  

Even though I know what his feelings are for me, yet a certain reassurance makes me feel secure. This avoids the anxiety cycle in a relationship.

Apart from ‘insecurity’ there could be other relationship anxiety reasons:

You might deal with overthinking in a relationship. Some overthinks about everything that comes on their way.

There could be anxiety in a relationship about your partner’s wellbeing.

Suppose your partner is staying away from you due to work commitment. It is normal that you worry all the time about their safety and wellbeing.

Thoughts like, is he taking care of himself? Has he been eating properly? Who will take care of him if he is unwell? Anxiety about not being together, etc.

Perhaps you are dealing with separation anxiety in your relationship or a long-distance relationship.

couple hugging each other

How anxiety can manifest in a relationship?

Anxiety can have a profound impact on relationships. People with anxiety may withdraw from social interactions, be less communicative, or become argumentative. They may also avoid certain activities or places that trigger their anxiety.

Anxiety can cause a lot of stress and tension, which can lead to arguments and misunderstandings.

When an individual experiences anxiety, they may have negative thoughts and feelings of fear, uncertainty, and unease. These feelings can make it difficult for them to connect with others, trust others, and be open and vulnerable in relationships.

It can also make it hard to communicate effectively, which can make it difficult to resolve conflict. As a result, they may come across as distant, unapproachable, or unresponsive to their partner.

If you are in a relationship with someone who has anxiety, it’s important to be understanding and supportive. Try to be patient, and to offer reassurance. Help them to find ways to manage their anxiety, and talk to them about how they are feeling. 

To manage the effects of anxiety on relationships, both individuals may benefit from therapy or counseling. This can help the individual with anxiety learn coping strategies to manage their symptoms, while also providing a safe space for both individuals to communicate, understand and connect better.

Tips on How to Deal with Anxiety in a Relationship

Figure Out the Issue

What is it that you are going through? With what thoughts you are struggling with? Identify the source of your anxiety. Once you know why you are getting so anxious in your relationship, it will be easier to deal with.


If you are dealing with anxiety issues, be honest about it and accept. Once you are sure about your issue and have identified why, communicate with your significant other.

Your partner must know about what you are dealing with. Maybe he can help with what you exactly need.

Maybe they also experience the same feeling, and sharing could solve the issue.

I am a great believer in the importance of communication in relationship. I truly believe we can solve relationship conflicts through an effective communication.

Work on Building Trust in your Relationship

If the source of your anxiety is insecurity and trust issue in your relationship, you must work on building trust in your relationship with the support of your partner.

It is essential to spend quality time with each other. Do what brings happiness to your relationship. Talk to your partner, tell them what you need to deal with your relationship anxiety issue.

Recognise your feelings and try to avoid jumping into negative conclusions. Validate your feelings with your relationship status.

If everything is normal in your relationship, try not let to control your negative feelings over your happiness. Understand the difference between what you think and the reality.

Meanwhile, work on what’s need to be done in your relationship to deal with your anxiety issue.

Get Help from an Expert

Be sure you are taking care of yourself. You do not have to be over-dependent on your partner to deal with your issue. Understand that you are responsible for your own issues and it is you who can fix.

If you are struggling too much, get help from an expert. Learn to appreciate yourself. Understand that not everything in a relationship goes according to you, something you need to let go.

anxious couple -how to deal with anxiety in a relationship

How to calm your partner when they are anxious?

If your partner is feeling anxious, there are a few things you can do to help them feel calmer. 

First, try to understand what is causing their anxiety. Once you know what the source of their anxiety is, you can help them come up with a plan to deal with it. You can provide them with some support and reassurance.

Listen to them when they want to talk about their anxiety, and offer reassurance and encouragement. Help them come up with a plan to deal with their anxiety, whether it includes relaxation techniques, self-care, or seeking professional help.

Let them know you are there for them.

Try to create a calm and supportive environment at home. This means avoiding arguments or anything else that might trigger their anxiety. If possible, take some time out together to relax and de-stress.

Sometimes, just being in each other’s company is reassuring and comforting.

Suggest going for a walk or doing another activity that will distract them from their anxious thoughts. 


It’s okay to have doubts about your relationship, clear them with your partner. Do not over think and let those thoughts manoeuvre you.

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