How to build emotional intimacy in a relationship – 8 Best Ways

What is emotional intimacy & signs of emotional intimacy?

In every close relationship, emotional intimacy plays a vital role. Emotional intimacy is the experience of feeling close, connected, and emotionally safe with another person.

It is not about sexual or physical closeness, but about feeling emotionally connected with your partner.

Building emotional intimacy in a relationship is essential for a healthy, long-lasting connection. It allows you and your partner to share your innermost thoughts and feelings, and experience a deeper level of closeness and connection.

When we are emotionally intimate with someone, we are able to share our deepest thoughts and feelings, knowing that we will be accepted and loved for who we are. We can be ourselves.

What are the signs of emotional intimacy?

In every close relationship, emotional intimacy plays a vital role.

If you’re wondering whether your relationship has emotional intimacy, here are some signs to look out for:

  • You feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner.
  • You feel understood and accepted by your partner.
  • You feel close to your partner and can rely on them for support.
  • You can be yourself around your partner.
  • You have a strong sense of mutual trust and respect for each other.
  • You can rely on your partner for help in working through difficult times.

These are some of the signs that can verify you have a strong foundation of intimacy in your relationship.

But if you don’t have the emotional intimacy in your relationship, how will you build them?

Building an emotional intimacy takes time, patience and determination as both have to take active part in working out what’s need to be done.

Both have to be around each other. If you’re struggling to build emotional intimacy in your relationship, don’t despair. There are a number of things you can do to create a more emotionally intimate connection with your partner.

When most people think of intimacy, they think of physical closeness. But that’s not the case.

how to build emotional intimacy in a relationship

How to build emotional intimacy in a relationship?


It is often said that communication is key in any relationship. This is true. In a relationship, effective communication is one of the most important tools for building emotional intimacy.

When we communicate effectively, we are able to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with our partner, which can help to build a deeper level of trust and intimacy.

Thus, talking to each other can make things better. Make your partner feel comfortable about sharing their thoughts.

Give ample of time to each other for communication. It can be scary to put yourself out there like that, but the rewards are more than worth it. When you can connect with your partner on an emotional level, you will feel closer to them.

If you struggle to communicate effectively with your partner, learn how to do that.

Empathize with your partner

To build emotional intimacy in a relationship, both partners need to be open and honest with each other. They must be willing to share their hopes, dreams, fears, and vulnerabilities.

You, as a partner, must empathize with them. When you take the time to understand how they’re feeling, it goes a long way in building trust and closeness.

If you are wondering on how to build emotional intimacy in a relationship, evaluate if you have empathy towards your partner.

It is an essential skill for healthy relationships, as it allows you to build emotional intimacy with your partner.

emotional intimacy between couple

Appreciate & connect

The quality of our relationships has a direct impact on our health and well-being. When we feel emotionally intimate with our partner, we are more likely to feel secure and cared for.

In any relationship, it is important to feel appreciated by your partner. When we feel appreciated, it helps us feel valued and important to the other person.

This, in turn, helps to build emotional intimacy in the relationship. Not only this, if you continue the ritual of appreciating your partner for their support and efforts in being together in the relationship or in what work they are doing, it will also make them happy.

Thus, when your partner is happy it will make you happy and there is peace in your relationship.

Emotional intimacy is a close, mutual feeling of safety, trust, and caring. It is an essential part of a healthy relationship and can help to deepen the bond between two people.

It’s important that you appreciate each other and establish the connection.

holding hands

Don’t drag the past

It is often said that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. But what if, in some cases, it is better to not bring up the past?

When we are constantly bringing up past hurts and wrongs, it can be difficult to move forward, accepting and build emotional intimacy.

It also gives you less space in a relationship to rebuild the trust.

You tend to become emotionally vulnerable with the person instead of building emotional stability in the relationship.

there is a time and a place for sharing your feelings and experiences—and sometimes, the past is best left in the past.

If you had a hurtful past in your relationship, ensure the trust and love have been restored already only then you will be able to build emotional intimacy, stability and connection.

Create connection rituals

Emotional intimacy is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect.

One of the best ways to build emotional intimacy in a relationship is to create connection rituals.

Connection rituals are small, everyday actions that couples do to feel close to one another. They can be anything from cuddling for a few minutes each day to saying “I love you” before bed.

There could be a million of connection rituals and they help build a strong connection in a relationship.

For example, my husband and I have a set of connection rituals like hugging and kissing once every day before going to bed. Saying or showing love gestures. Sending each other adorable texts that makes each other feel loved and valued in our relationship.

couple in love

Listen to each other & understand

Emotional intimacy is about more than just being in love with each other – it’s about being able to truly understand and connect with your partner on a deep level.

On a point above, I have discussed how communication can help build emotional intimacy but a communication where the other partner isn’t actively listening becomes useless.

I have previously discussed and emphasized how listening can help relationship to grow. 

It is often overlooked as an important skill in relationships. We mostly focus on what we want to say, rather than what our partner is trying to communicate.

When we listen to our partner, we show them that we care about them and their experiences. We also give them the space to share their thoughts and feelings without judgement.

Thus, it can help greatly to build emotional intimacy between couple, bring two individuals closer and developing a mutual understanding.

Be a problem solver instead of judging

Emotional intimacy is something that needs to be cultivated and nurtured throughout the lifetime of a relationship.

One of the best ways to cultivate emotional intimacy is by becoming a problem solver. This doesn’t mean that you need to have all the answers to your partner’s problems.

But you are willing to engage with them and work together to find solutions. When you become a problem solver, you are also building trust and showing your partner that you are there for them – no matter what.

This will help you both getting closer and rebuild your relationship. Thus, if you want to learn how to become a problem solver, this is something we can discuss on another article.

Create a safe zone

In every relationship, each person has their own thoughts, feelings, and needs that they bring to the table. It can be difficult to navigate these differences, but it is essential to create a safe space where you can be vulnerable with each other and build emotional intimacy.

Creating a safe zone means being open and honest with each other about your thoughts and feelings, without judgement or criticism.

Your relationship must have a safe zone. If you don’t feel that having in your relationship, probably you can’t build emotional intimacy, neither can you get closer to each other.

It will be a relationship without any backbone.

You must feel you are safe with your partner sharing your experiences or feelings. They won’t judge you rather, you have the trust that they will have you with them forever no matter what.

Thus, having that safe zone and trust is crucial when you want to build emotional intimacy in your relationship.

girl resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder

How long does it take to build emotional connection in a relationship?

Building an emotional connection with someone takes time. It does not happen overnight. The quickest way to build an emotional connection is through shared experiences. This could be anything from going on a first date to taking a trip together.

As you spend more time together, you will learn more about each other. You will share your hopes, dreams, and fears. You will learn how to support each other through rough patches. And, over time, you’ll develop a deep emotional connection.

Last words –

Thus, these are the crucial pointers you must consider to build emotional intimacy in your relationship.

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