“Life is about finding and creating yourself I believe”

 

I see him through my rectangle glass spectacle and my heart beats rapidly in an unsteady manner right the moment when I see him passing. His presence transcends me into a world of slow motion where everything I feel moves around me in an utter slow pace.  I feel violins are being played and birds are chirping moving around over my head. I am far from the real world having no sense of activation.

“hello Shruti, where are you? I have been waving my hand for so long but it seems to me you are in some other world.” Akruti complained and helped me to bring to my senses.

“no, I am fine sorry Akruti”

“it must be Sagar, right? Akruti said laughingly. Why don’t you just go and tell him about your feelings?”

“Not possible”

“You keep saying that every time, anyways. Are you done with your literature homework?”

“Yes”.

After the class, I went to the canteen with Akruti and Shikha.

Akruti and Shikha were good to me and never let me feel weird of my dull physique and extreme introvert nature.

“See Sagar is here too. Sruti just go and talk to him” both suggested me. Though I was willing to but…

My eyes got transfix again on him, such a charisma he has. I can hardly resist my eyes to look at him. I can stare at him all the day sitting here. His smooth and silky hair that mostly covers his left eye partially. He moves those hairs very swiftly with his right palm with the aid of his fingers. A black leather strap watch on his right wrist that perhaps he bought new and showing that to his friends. I can hear the sound of his laughing. My crazy ears are not letting to enter any other sounds that might distract me. Again the violins, birds and slow motion kinda feeling continues. A continuous series of images running through my mind. “Oh God! What’s happening tos me.” There what I see he is looking at me with a smiling face. I was still gazing at him semiconsciously and smiling stupidly. A girl shouldn’t smile like that it was so stupid of me. Oh my God! He is coming towards me. My heart is beating so fast that I can actually hear it actually loudly.

“Sruti Shruti…”Akruti and Shikha both calling that I can hardly hear.

“Ouch! Why are you pinching me?”

I then perceive that I was into my imaginary realm. What I see in front of me was Sagar for real. I got stiff and was setting my spectacles and wiping my mouth with the handkerchief. (nervous? Why?)

“May I sit here girls?” asked Sagar

Akruti lends a chair.

“Hi I am Sagar, I have observed you”

“What?” I was barely looking at him.

“Why you always stare at me and peeping from the corner or wall?

I said nothing. Inside I was feeling so stupid of me. He didn’t say anything further.

I see him getting up from the chair and leaving.

“Oh no, don’t go… I could have told him the truth of what I feel. No, I can’t see him going. I might not get this golden the chance.” random thoughts into my mind. I was feeling dull-witted.”

He turned back and stood in front of me.

“a cup of coffee with me?” he asked softly

I couldn’t believe my ears what I just heard now. Happiness touches my feet how I can let it go. My conscious mind wanted me to tell him loudly “yesss”. My happiness that has no limit. A cup of coffee will indeed offer a best opportunity to be his close and perhaps to read his mind. But my low self-esteem comes between. “why would a boy like Sagar choose a girl like me who is sluggish and meek?

“No. I can’t.” I answered.

Both my friends looked surprised. Sagar leaves with a smile.

“Are you mad? Why did you just say no?”

I controlled my flowing streams of tears that were about to flow down my cheeks. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled.  I smiled at them and leaned back in the chair. It’s time now.

“Why are you smiling, stupid?” both my friends looked angry and upset with me.

“I won the challenge”

“what challenge?”

“Do you remember on the school annual day function Yuvika, the diva of our college challenged me that whom Sagar will offer a cup of coffee?”

“yes we do remember. But we thought that was a joke.”

“Actually no. I accepted that challenge and from the next day onwards Yuvika and I both were on our way to winning the challenge.”

“She is fashionable, rich, intelligent and full with pride always mocks girls like us so this challenge is a slap on her face.”

Sagar who doesn’t even look at her. She wasn’t cool with it and she wanted Sagar to like her. Sagar has his own moral values and liked by all for his gentle behavior and amiable nature. He is one of the most handsome guy and put his heart on his sleeves.

“So you don’t feel anything for Sagar?” asked Shikha curiously.

Just then the bell gets rang and we all headed towards our class. Neither of them noticed.

I looked back at Sagar. I know he will never ask me for a cup of coffee again but I can. I just walk confidently and thought what ‘if’ I would have said ‘yes’ the scenario would have been different. Few challenges can lead one into a new realm of life. This challenge is a silver lining to pull my confidence up. Even the slightest of winning is a ray of sunshine.

A new journey of my life started, the college has arranged a debate competition and for the first time I look forward to participating with a positive audacity not being a timid anymore.

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